I don't know why I got this book, (Diary of a Sex Addict) I know it wasn't for the expectation of many steamy sex scenes. Perhaps I got the idea to read this after a friend described his ex as a sex addict...
The book was really dark as you would expect from a story depicting an addict, as I read it I felt like I was like the researcher cheering on that rat in the maze... "NO, NO, NO, don't go that way!" I would yell to the main character.
One astonishing thing was that I began seeing in myself similar behaviors. The way I torpedoed my failed 8 year relationship with infidelity and lying then denial. Like the character in the book I knew what I was doing but couldn't stop. The despair and helplessness I felt in my relationship, whether real or imagined drove me to loose myself in trick after trick. The book also forced me to look at my current nightly routine of hiding behind the habitual behavior of surfing my favorite social networking/porn site with a few glasses of wine. Hiding from what I have no clue...
Like the character's black hole of despair, when I get to brooding I remember little snippets of memories, the ones that if I had Dumbledore's pensieve I would rip them out and loose them to oblivion.
One of many, like this jewel... I remember being caught by my mother in my closet trying to affix a small bag onto my penis to catch the nightly urine emission... Yes I was a bed-wetter as a child. Hey I was young and stupid along with being desperate. Bed-wetting is a very frustrating thing for a child to endure... you have little to no control over it, and you are constantly belittled by those who remain dry at night.
Yes this book was a little disturbing to me, causing me to reflect back to my dark side... BUT I'm not that enlightened to posses the ability to pinpoint a reason or deeper meaning to these memories. I may no longer be young, but like a trooper I'm still stupid. Consistency in my life is a bonus!
Will this book make a difference, or will I continue to dance along the event horizon of MY black hole? Only time will tell.
The book was really dark as you would expect from a story depicting an addict, as I read it I felt like I was like the researcher cheering on that rat in the maze... "NO, NO, NO, don't go that way!" I would yell to the main character.
One astonishing thing was that I began seeing in myself similar behaviors. The way I torpedoed my failed 8 year relationship with infidelity and lying then denial. Like the character in the book I knew what I was doing but couldn't stop. The despair and helplessness I felt in my relationship, whether real or imagined drove me to loose myself in trick after trick. The book also forced me to look at my current nightly routine of hiding behind the habitual behavior of surfing my favorite social networking/porn site with a few glasses of wine. Hiding from what I have no clue...
Like the character's black hole of despair, when I get to brooding I remember little snippets of memories, the ones that if I had Dumbledore's pensieve I would rip them out and loose them to oblivion.
One of many, like this jewel... I remember being caught by my mother in my closet trying to affix a small bag onto my penis to catch the nightly urine emission... Yes I was a bed-wetter as a child. Hey I was young and stupid along with being desperate. Bed-wetting is a very frustrating thing for a child to endure... you have little to no control over it, and you are constantly belittled by those who remain dry at night.
Yes this book was a little disturbing to me, causing me to reflect back to my dark side... BUT I'm not that enlightened to posses the ability to pinpoint a reason or deeper meaning to these memories. I may no longer be young, but like a trooper I'm still stupid. Consistency in my life is a bonus!
Will this book make a difference, or will I continue to dance along the event horizon of MY black hole? Only time will tell.
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